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strange infatuation [entries|friends|calendar]

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[8/16/04 at 10:14am]
You know the meaning fits
There's no relief in this
I miss my beautiful friend

jeff buckley

This is my friend Holly

She died Saturday night, she and a friend were hit by a car while crossing the street. Holly was 16. Keep her in your thoughts.

Be safe, stay beautiful. ♥
2 + post

never [7/16/04 at 11:47pm]
[ mood | you'll never ]

Never Is A PromiseCollapse )

1 + post

[7/9/04 at 10:18am]
[ mood | so fuck you ]

okay so maybe I like standing in the rain

sometimes it's okay to be a little cliche

there's nothing I would change


the sun isn't all the way out [6/21/04 at 3:23pm]
[ mood | purple rain covered ]

for days
i've been rotting in my room
to the sound of birds,
machines, motorcycles
and purple rain

i apologize for being so cruel sometimes

2 + post

[6/19/04 at 3:26pm]
[ mood | i'm sure things will ]

for smart people with good taste.
i can't help it, i'm addicted

ps: it's summer
expect to hear from me less

2 + post

[6/10/04 at 11:31am]
[ mood | i ahted aexdisting ]

you seem like a real asshole

sometimes i get pissed off when
he tries to tell me
that going to school every day is killing him
honestly, he's doing just fine
maybe i just can't see
the agony he's going through
but i doubt that.
i know hatred
i know panic attacks in hallways
i know making my mother cry
and not giving a shit
i don't care about anyone but me
i don't want to die

hey, i'm a real asshole too i guess


[6/6/04 at 8:45am]
loveCollapse )
1 + post

Not a real update [6/1/04 at 7:20pm]
[ mood | can you fucking believe it? ]

Go here

___Collapse )

1 + post

[5/21/04 at 11:43am]

i hate what i am right now
the image i fit into

i wonder what people think of me
and they probably think i don't care

i want to know everything
i want to understand everyone

i want to go home
2 + post

[5/18/04 at 11:24am]
[ mood | you'll think i'm dead but ]

"Bedroom eyes lead to blurry vision"

Veruca Salt of course.
Although as of late it's been a
Wave Of Mutilation.

And nothing is better
and August 17th in Randall City, NY
I'll see them.

I'm so uncomfortable.

1 + post

[5/14/04 at 4:12pm]
[ mood | don't fake it ]

No it is not the same.
Don't patronize me,
don't act as if you know me.
You will never hear about
the things I dream.

You'll wish you could,
you'll try to say you already know.
But you will never ever see hear smell touch or taste
what's inside of my head.


for a minute there i lost myself [5/11/04 at 10:10pm]
there's something wrong
i'm breaking every day again
every day
i cried in boyfriend's arms
i cried on my friend's bed
i screamed and cried because of the ants in this house

i shouldn't care. i don't want to start over.

oh god.
2 + post

The future is PLASTICS! [5/10/04 at 7:39pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Once upon a time I was in new york and I stumbled across the greatest store in the world. I just remembered the name and lo and behold, I've found the Girl Props online store. I'm excited :D


i will not [5/6/04 at 11:34am]
[ mood | I'm sorry, I'm sorry ]

parents should not...
LIE to their children
BREAK PROMISES made to their children
BETRAY their children
and still
REFUSE TO BELIEVE their children.

How does she expect me to tell her
when I already know she's managed to
find out on her own.
The things that I've bought
and I've written in
with my words
belong to me, and me alone.

But I'm not angry,
I feel sorry for her
because now she knows for sure
that I'm not the child she wanted to have.

Some things you just can't fake

2 + post

took me a long time to find this [4/30/04 at 11:18am]
[ mood | back home ]

From the morning when I rise from my bed
Til the evening when I lay my head in slumber
Oh the loss of you does wreck my days
Leaves me with a violent hungerCollapse )
I could never come back home again


[4/22/04 at 9:15am]
[ mood | and it could ]

I look different now but
I like me that way.
My birthday is on sunday
then back to school for
five. long. weeks.
May, June, July
4th, 2004...
One year with him and
I want it to last the
rest of my life.

3 + post

[4/15/04 at 11:00pm]
[ mood | and we'll all ]

i want a nose ring
(not a stud like i already have)
i want the hoop.

i want a lot of things
you could say i want

"I want to,
I want to be someone else
or I'll explode"
-radiohead // talkshowhost

2 + post

[4/1/04 at 11:24am]
[ mood | but who knows ]

i'm happy

6 + post

[3/29/04 at 11:07am]
[ mood | hahaha, oh julia, ]

applied for scarlotxharlots
sweetinator and rockpaperscizor run it.
i want to belong. and so should you.

aside from that,
i'm worried
cried again last night.
throat hurt (like whoa)
i want to start running
or something to pump endorphines
through this body.
in B period i was thinking
about how much this whole situation sucks
and i started to smile.
i couldn't stop it,
i was laughing at myself
because i was just that stupid
to get into this mess.
i've never done that before
i'm smiling thinking about it now.


[3/19/04 at 6:28pm]
some call it catharsis...
but it's alright
i'm used to betrayal like this
betrayal more like
1 + post

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